Nerdfighters Gazette

My first post comes on a very strong, well not strong, but a critical matter in this world.  You see, this morning I commented on Facebook that I was jealous of my friends ‘gingerness’ and her response was, “You really have no idea what that entails do you?”  I pretended I did, but the reality of the situation was that I did not. Yes, I had noticed some increase in the way people poked fun at red heads with the obnoxious name calling and the funny Facebook groups.   I suppose it’s all in good fun to go, “HAH! You carrot top YOU HAVE NO SOUL!” But where is that fine line between joking and bullying?

It may surprise you that in England, gingers are actually bullied a lot (and to think one of the greatest British families is full of redheads, and yes I mean the Weasleys) and why? Well it all goes back to some old wives’ tale that gingers are all descendents of the devil. Okay, so they may have some type of temper, but that’s just poppycock.  Aren’t we all big enough now to know how stupid that is?  We’re taking something that people believed with out any form of evidence and turning it into a joke, and we don’t even think about for a second how it’s affecting the group. I mean what if I started to make jokes about blondes?  Oh wait, we already do that… I mean jokes about people with dark hair or people who write with their left hands (another thing that people thought related you to evil).  I personally don’t understand the commotion around this little ‘phase’ humans are going through, if it is a phase. Throughout my life, I’ve been in awe of gingers.  My first friend in England was ginger and I still think she’s one of the prettiest doll-like girls I know.  My first friend in Nerdfighteria was ginger, too, and I just love her and her attitude.  My favorite elementary school was ginger and I thought she was a goddess.

Why do we make fun of gingers? Is it because everyone else does?  Is it because we just have to choose one group every decade to make fun of?  I’m kind of sick and tired of the whole ginger-hating.  You can’t judge a person by their hair color, you really can’t.  And telling me that all gingers get mad easily is well true, but if you’re poking fun at them over and over again, I don’t blame them for getting mad.

So ends this whole gingerness rant of mine. I believe in gingers and their souls.

What are your thoughts on all this?

So I figured I would start this column off with a bang. Let’s hit up the movie that has the entire world (and several other jungle-covered worlds) blowing James Cameron: AVATAR.

First off I want to say that I fucking adore Jimmy C. His body of work basically defined my childhood as far as films go. I grew up watching TERMINATOR, T2, ALIENS, THE ABYSS, TRUE LIES and even TITANIC as often as my friends and I could scrape together enough lunch money to walk up to the local video shop and grab one of those VHS tapes off the shelf (yes, we actually walked and yes, we actually watched VHS tapes). Hell, I even got into his TV show Dark Angel, which launched the career of  über-hottie Jessica Alba as Max. So the man has made some seriously high quality stuff. But Avatar isn’t one of ‘em.

I didn’t quite get the hype surrounding this film from the get go. Where did the hype come from? I had heard that James Cameron was making a film called Avatar. And that it was going to be in 3D. But that’s all I had heard. I never saw a teaser trailer. I never saw an actual trailer either. But although I don’t watch much television in the traditional sense (read: I torrent my favorite shows), I do spend an INORDINATE amount of time on the internet, where film hype thrives and trailers can be found at one of the many websites I frequent on a daily (if not hourly) basis. Apparently the phrase “James Cameron is making a 3D movie called Avatar” is all that people had to hear before offering to give the man blowjobs. But hey, I like blowjobs. So kudos to Jimmy C for that.

Now let’s get to the film itself. The plot is most definitely nothing revolutionary. As a matter of fact anyone who has picked up an American history book or watched a certain Disney animated feature (or the Colin Farrell live action feature) knows that it’s the story of Pocahontas, ripped right out of history and slammed into a new futuristic world. It’s a story we’ve all heard before, but it’s not a bad story so I can give him a pass on that.

On to the visuals, which is the hill that this film’s defenders prefer to die on. Make a negative comment about this flick and the first question from an Avatard (like it? That shit’s copyrighted yo) is “Did you see it in 3D?” Why does that matter? The 3D is nothing more than a gimmick. It just makes it pretty to look at. It adds NOTHING to the story. The defense to that is usually “But that immerses the viewer in the story.” Bullshit. People have been getting immersed in films for decades without the use of 3D so if that is what makes this movie so fantastic then Jim Cameron failed miserably as a filmmaker on this project. A penny is still a penny, no matter how shiny it is.

Let’s quickly hit up the animation, shall we? For the most part the animation stood out (and not in the good “But it’s in 3D!” way). The Na’vi didn’t feel as if they had any weight to them. Seeing as how they are twice as tall as humans, they sure as hell had better be heavier. And they didn’t look completely realistic to me either. Now 10 years ago they would have passed that litmus test. But since LORD OF THE RINGS and Gollum, there’s a new standard and this movie didn’t reach it. Finally, everything was a bit TOO colorful in my opinion. Pandora seemed as if a child had colored it with their 16 piece crayon set. A little bit of desaturation and I buy the world of Pandora as real. As it is, it actually served in helping pull me OUT of the movie.

Quick hits: the dialogue was okay at its best. The acting was fine. I especially enjoyed Stephen Lang as the Colonel and hated Giovanni Ribisi’s character (which is a compliment). The 3D was an improvement over how it has been used in the past, but in the end it’s still a gimmick.

THE VERDICT
Watching this flick felt like fucking the same hooker for the 10th time, only this time she’d had some plastic surgery done. Sure she’s prettier and her tits are bigger, but in the end the experience is the same and you’ll never see that $10 again.

NEXT REVIEW
Star Trek starring Chris Pine, Zachary Quinto, Zoe Saldana and Simon Pegg

Hello soon to be loyal readers!

I am the resident film geek here at the Nerdfighters Gazette and it will be my duty to bring you all of the news and reviews from the film and television industry. Of course, you will only see it after it has gone through my film geek filter, so be forewarned: this is an opinion column. When I present you news, I’ll give my opinion on said news. When I see a flick, I’ll give you my opinion on it. When I take a dump, I’ll tweet about it. And then I’ll give you my opinion on it.

Also, this won’t be a family-friendly column either (as if you hadn’t figured that out already). I will swear. I will rant. And I will probably use graphic descriptions of deviant sexual acts as a rating system instead of the “star” or “thumb” systems. They’re just more interesting. So if that’s going to bother you, don’t read my column. There are plenty of film critic columns out there that will pander to you. Still interested? Then subscribe to my RSS feed as well as the RSS for Film Geek Critique.

I also encourage readers to leave their thoughts via the comment section, but if you want to go on the offensive heed this warning: attack my opinions, call me out on misinformation, but DON’T attack me personally. Comments in the vain of “you’re an idiot” will probably not be approved unless I can think of a witty comeback. Remember: “Don’t mess with the bull, young man. You’ll get the horns.” – Richard Vernon, THE BREAKFAST CLUB

If you’re a young nerdy adult today, you probably grew up in the day of quality Saturday morning cartoons. I can clearly remember sitting in front of my TV  pantsless with cereal all over the floor and my coloring book open.

God, I miss those days.

While I’d love to jump on the nostalgia wagon and gush about how good television was back in my day, I’d rather talk about how bad it’s become today. Seriously.

Today, I was on Cartoon Network, and I see this show called Superhero Squad.

I'm not even the least bit surprised this is Marvel's doing.

Now, I’ve watched what I can stand of this show, and it’s just plain garbage to me. All the characters look like 4 year-olds and sound like them yet they have abs and wear outfits with odd cutouts. It’s so damn creepy and it’s not even intentionally creepy. I hope not, at least, because I feel a little bit like a pedophile while staring at Falcon’s ripped stomach and his sides left to bear the elements (damn those cutouts). Seriously. I don’t know what drugs Marvel has been on the past few years, but they need rehab ASAP.

I know people have ragged on Marvel products for kids for dumbing down super heroes and villains into something more kid accessible/friendly. To this I say a big, “What are you talking about, Willis?” Have you already forgotten the Nineties, my friends? Those cartoons may not have had blood and gore out the wazoo like you were reading a Kick Ass comic, but there were adult super heroes dealing with adult villains who got their asses handed to them every Saturday morning with possibly mild blood and violence.

And there was nothing wrong with that.

I don’t know what triggered this descendence into kiddie superheroes, but it needs to stop now. These shows bastardize everything good about what I loved about my childhood. Wolverine threw people through walls, Batman pounced on goons from the darkness and strung them up for Commissioner Gordon to pick up, and Superman had laser eyeballs.

I’m assuming someone got their knickers in a twist and thought exposing kids to violence (even just the cartoony kind) was bad. As a kid that’s grown up seeing these shows, I’d like to say a big, “Go french a llama.”

I’m not violent. I’m not going to leap off buildings in attempts to fly. I’m not an idiot.

The only way television can be bad is if a child is raised solely on it. Television doesn’t have good morals and isn’t going to hold your kid’s hand when his girlfriend/boyfriend breaks up with him and tell him he deserves better. I think this is where the rub with television comes from: it raising children.

I understand if you’re a busy parent. I understand having kids is hard. I understand being a parent is hard. But when you sacrifice teaching your kids good morals and making sure they know the difference between proper and improper behavior, you have no one to blame but yourself if your kid is messed up–unless they have some kind of traumatizing experience or mental disorder that is not caused by you–because a kid’s first teacher and most important teacher is the parent(s).

I’m not saying don’t let your kids watch television. DO. You know why? Because Blue’s Clues is on and your kid will be so freaking smart after having colors, letters, and numbers drilled into their head every day of the week. I learned from watching that show, and I’m seeing the same results with younger members of my family. Seriously. I can’t get anything past that kid, and she’s only four.

So, stop making shows that aren’t kiddie into kiddie.
If you don’t think it’s suitable for children, don’t try to make it so.

Now, back to the schedule.
The next item on the chopping block isn’t a dumbed down show, but it’s such a mediocre show of something that is so awesome that I have to rip on it…or rip it to pieces. You decide.

Batman The Brave and the Bold

I’ve watched several episodes of this series, so I think can say this next statement without being off base.
Where is Bruce Wayne?

The most amazing thing about Batman is because of the path he chooses. He could have just went faffing about with ladies all the time and buying hotels and just being a slut in general, but he decides to decrease a little bit of suck in Gotham by donning the cape. Bruce Wayne is a deep and rich character who often has to struggle with his own morals and struggle by fighting crime in Gotham on his own (for the most part), and he seems to not even exist in this series.

Actually, I haven’t even seen the token villains from the Batman franchise make an appearance.

However, the show is so crammed full of new heroes and villains that no character in the series shines. Not even Batman. Each episode I’ve seen has brand new villains and new heroes, so the ones I saw last week just blend into the next until I don’t know the back story of any these characters. I can’t relate to them. I am just annoyed. I don’t even like the Batman in this series, and I love Batman. Like a great man once said,

“I love Batman from his little pointy ears to his big stompy boots.“

This series may improve later down the line, but I don’t have much hopes for it. I wish I could like it, but I just can’t. I want to so badly. To be honest, the best Batman cartoons have already been made, and if you manage to top that, God help you if I don’t ravage you to death in gratitude.

Now, I have to jump on the nostalgia wagon and speak about the holiest of all holy things from my childhood.
Batman The Animated Series

This is a superhero cartoon done right. Hell, it may even be done too right, but you won’t see me complaining about a cake with more cake on top of it.

Batman The Animated Series represents everything that is good about my childhood. Just hearing the theme music whipped me into a frenzy of excitement, and I was glued to the TV the moment it started and didn’t leave until the credits rolled. This series is still one of the best looking and best written.

It wasn’t too long ago that I dug out my old Batman VHS tapes and viewed them again. It’s a timeless kind of show that I still find entertaining even though I first saw it while wearing training undies. Now, I’m gonna shut up because if I want to write an open love letter to Batman, I’ll do it in another post.

So, nerds, if you grew up watching cartoons and reading comics, what do you think of this dumbing down? Do you see it as a mutation of something you once knew to be good or just a show experimenting with something new? Do you think shows were too violent in hindsight? Do you think it changed you any way for the worse?  Please discuss. Also, this is just my opinions/knowledge/experience here. Feel free to correct any inaccuracies as far as facts go. You will never change my opinion of Batman The Animated Series (Batman Beyond was pretty good though).

Also, if you read all of this, you have eyes of steel. This was a lot to read, and I somewhat apologize for that.
Until next time, Ink is signing off.

The recent article posted on the topic of sexuality in the media, brought to mind a similar topic…. violence in the media. Many people view violence in the media with a very negative attitude. Some even go as far as to blame several school shootings in the US as a result of the violence being shown on every media outlet. While these images, and tales of crimes do portray a more violent image in our culture, social scientists have not been able to distinguish a direct correlation between real life aggression and aggression in short stories, advertisements and on television.  What do you think, Nerdfighteria? Are some of Edgar Allen Poe’s works causing increased crime rates? Will the blood in video games soon be the blood on our hands? Is violence in the media creating more violence in each our lives, and if it is, what should be done?